TL;DR: What You’ll Learn in This Post
Too much screen time can affect children’s and teens’ mood, sleep, focus, and social skills. But “how much is too much” depends on age, purpose, and balance. In this post, our Langley-based counsellors share realistic ways to set healthy limits without conflict, and with more connection.
Why Screen Time Matters for Mental Health
Screens are woven into everyday life, such as with homework, chats with friends, and streaming before bed. Yet parents often notice: the more time kids spend on screens, the more irritable or dysregulated they seem.
That instinct isn’t wrong. Research links excessive screen time with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and sleep disruption. But it’s not as simple as “screens are bad.” The impact depends on how screens are used, why, and what’s being replaced by that time.
Most parents don’t realize why screen time affects kids so strongly. And, here’s the short
version. Fast-paced videos and games release dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical. That constant stimulation can make everyday experiences feel dull in comparison and make it harder to wind down at night. We could geek out on the brain science all day, but suffice to say: when kids look “wired and tired,” it’s not attitude: it’s biology.
At Darcy Bailey & Associates Counselling in Langley, we often see both kids and teens
struggling not just with screen use, but with the emotions and disconnection that come with it.
How Much Screen Time Is Too Much?
The Canadian Paediatric Society suggests these general guidelines:
- Under 5: Avoid screens other than video chats and limited educational content.
- Ages 5–12: Keep recreational screen use under 2 hours daily; focus on balance and variety.
Teens: Encourage mindful use rather than strict limits. Discuss purpose, timing, and emotional impact.
What matters most isn’t just the number of hours, but the quality and context. Watching a family movie together or researching for school is very different from endless scrolling or
late-night gaming.
Experts call this digital displacement: when screen time pushes out important developmental experiences like downtime, creativity, and real-world connection. For many parents, this realization is a big “aha.” What’s lost when screens dominate isn’t just time, it’s attention, imagination, and face-to-face connection. And the goal isn’t guilt; it’s awareness and balance.
The Different Impacts on Kids vs. Teens
For Kids (Under 12): Developing Brains Need Downtime
Children’s brains are still wiring for attention, emotional regulation, and creativity. Constant stimulation from screens can:
- Shorten attention span.
- Disrupt sleep and natural calming rhythms.
- Reduce opportunities for imaginative play and physical movement.
You might notice meltdowns, irritability, or hyper-focus after screen use. These aren’t just behavioural issues, they’re signs of overstimulation.
Try this: Create simple “transition rituals”: for example, snack time, stretching, or quiet play between screen use and the next activity. This helps kids shift gears calmly.
For Teens: Connection vs. Comparison
Teens often use screens to socialize, learn, or find belonging. But social media can blur
connection with comparison. Too much exposure to highlight reels and peer validation can erode confidence and heighten anxiety.
We hear things like, “Everyone else seems happier,” or “I feel behind.” These reflect the real emotional weight of online life.
Not all digital time is negative; many teens for example, find genuine friendships and creative outlets online. The key is self-awareness and balance, not elimination.
Signs Screen Time Might Be Affecting Mental Health
Watch for these patterns in your child or teen:
- Increased irritability or mood swings after being online.
- Difficulty sleeping or constant fatigue.
- Loss of interest in ofline activities.
- Anxiety about being without a phone or device.
- Decline in school focus or motivation.
- Withdrawal from family or friends.
If several of these persist, counselling can help uncover what’s really happening beneath the surface.
5 Practical Ways to Create Healthier Screen Habits
- Talk About “Why,” Not Just “How Long.”
Instead of enforcing limits without context, explore why screens feel rewarding. Ask: “What do you like about this app or game?” Understanding the why creates empathy and opens space for better habits.
- Co-Create a Family Media Plan
Involve everyone in setting guidelines for where, when, and how devices are used including you. Teens respect structure they’ve helped shape.
- Protect Sleep as Non-Negotiable
Blue light and stimulation before bed disrupt natural sleep rhythms.
- Set “device bedtime” at least an hour before sleep.
- Keep chargers out of bedrooms.
- For teens, frame it as a performance tool: better rest = better focus and mood.
- Model Balanced Use
Children and teens learn from what they see. Speak openly about your own limits: “I’m putting my phone away during dinner because I need the break too.”
- Replace Screen Time, Don’t Just Remove It
Offer alternatives that meet the same needs screens do. For example, connection, fun, relaxation.
For kids: outdoor play, art, or baking.
For teens: sports, creative projects, volunteering, or time with friends ofline. The goal isn’t control. It’s all about connection.
How Counselling Can Help with Screen-Related Struggles
When screens become a source of conflict, counselling provides space to understand what’s beneath the surface.
For kids, therapy helps:
- Strengthen attention and emotional regulation.
- Manage frustration and transitions away from devices.
- Develop healthy coping strategies for boredom or loneliness.
For teens, sessions focus on:
- Understanding emotional triggers behind screen habits.
- Building tools for self-regulation and healthy boundaries.
- Reconnecting with ofline meaning and confidence.
At our Langley practice, we often include parent consultations to improve communication and family structure around technology which balances clarity with compassion.
Expert Insight
In our Langley counselling office, we often remind parents that screens themselves aren’t the problem; disconnection is.
When kids and teens feel understood, included, and connected, resistance drops and cooperation rises.
Children’s and teens’ brains are wired to seek connection; when that connection is replaced by constant digital stimulation, what they miss most isn’t the screen: it’s being seen.
FAQs About Teen Counselling in Langley
Is all screen time bad for mental health?
No. Educational use, creativity, and family media time can be positive. It’s the prolonged, passive, or emotionally charged use that tends to create issues.
What if my teen refuses to cut back?
Start with curiosity, not control. Counselling can help uncover the emotional reasons behind resistance and create realistic, collaborative changes.
Can counselling help if screen time has become a daily conflict?
Yes. Therapists can help families reset communication patterns, reduce guilt and power struggles, and strengthen relationships.
What counselling options are available?
We offer child and teen therapy, family counselling, and parenting counselling; all services are offered in person in Langley or virtually across BC.
Final Thoughts & Next Steps
Technology isn’t going away, but our relationship with it can change.
When parents stay curious and connected, screens shift from a source of conflict to a shared conversation.
If screen time battles or emotional changes have become overwhelming, you don’t have to handle it alone.
👉 Book a free 15-minute consultation with our Langley team today.
Together, we’ll help your child or teen build healthier habits, both online and in life.
Further Resources
- Stolen Focus by Johann Hari. A compassionate look at how attention and technology shape our ability to be present.
- Podcast: Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting. This is a thoughtful, research-based discussion on screens, anxiety, and family connection.
About the Authors
This article was co-written by Darcy Bailey, Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and founder of Darcy Bailey & Associates Counselling, and Maria Pais-Martens, Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) at Darcy Bailey & Associates. Darcy has over 25 years of experience
